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The latest AFL Carlton Blues news articles, video links, AFL Ladder and more.



Beginnings: Carlton Football Club, nicknamed The Blues, is one of the 16 Australian rules football clubs in the Australian Football League (AFL). The Blues is the third oldest club in the Australian Football League and one of the oldest Australian rules football clubs. The club were the first premiers of the Victorian Football Association (VFA) in 1877,[1] and, along with Essendon, share the most premierships of any VFL/AFL club with 16. EST 1864

Records:
  • * VFL/AFL Premiers – 1906-08, 1914-15, 1938, 1945, 1947, 1968, 1970, 1972, 1979, 1981-82, 1987, 1995
  • * VFL/AFL runners-up – 1909-10, 1916, 1921, 1932, 1949, 1962, 1969, 1973, 1986, 1993, 1999
  • * VFL/AFL Pre-season Premiers – 1983, 1997
  • * Challenge Cup Premiers – 1869, 71, 1873-75
  • * VFA Premiers – 1877, 1887
  • * VFA runners-up – 1879, 1889-91
  • * Brownlow Medallists – Bert Deacon (1947), John James (1961), Gordon Collis (1964), Greg Williams (1994)
  • * Coleman Medallists (AFL leading goalkicker) – Tom Carroll (51 goals, 1961), Brendan Fevola (84 goals, 2006), (86 goals, 2009)
  • * Games record holder 375 - Craig Bradley (1986-2002)
Full Ladder Team P W L D FOR AGNST % PTS
14 Carlton 22 7 15 0 1568 1978 79.3 28

MCG car park closed

Injury Update | Round 5 Head of Football Andrew McKay brings you the latest injury news after Round 5.

Buebaggers, Carlton is preparing for Saturday afternoon footy at the MCG, are you?

With the Blues amid preparations for their Round 6 clash against Sydney on Saturday 29 April, it’s time to plan your trip to the ‘G.

With the MCG's Yarra Park closed due to heavy rain and ongoing wet conditions, we've drawn up a plan B.

See below for all the information you need to ensure a stress-free journey to the Blues’ home game against the Swans.

Secure Parking  

Prefer to drive to the match? Secure Parking has you covered. The closest Secure Parking car park to the MCG is located at 12-20 Flinders Lane, Melbourne.

Other Secure Parking locations include:

  • 11 Exhibition Street
  • 121 Exhibition Street
  • 114 Flinders Street
  • 28 Flinders Street
  • 32 Flinders Street
  • 172 Flinders Street
  • Federation...

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Match-day guide: Round 6

It’s Carlton v Sydney as we strive to register our second win for the season when we linen up against the Swans at the MCG for the first time in 31 years.

ROUND 6

Carlton v Sydney
Saturday 29 April
MCG, 2:10pm AEST 

HEAD-TO-HEAD:

Played 224
Carlton 127
Sydney 91
Draws 6 

LAST TIME THE SIDES MET:

Round 18, 2016, SCG
Sydney 10.14 (74) d Carlton 10.8 (68)

FORECAST FOR SATURDAY AFTERNOON IN MELBOURNE:

Shower or two – top of 18 degrees. 

MILESTONE: PATRICK CRIPPS

Carlton young gun Patrick Cripps will line up for his 50th AFL game on Saturday afternoon when the Blues take on the Swans at the MCG. 

After being recruited to Carlton with a first-round selection (13) in the 2013 National Draft, Cripps made his AFL debut in Round 4, 2014 against Melbourne.

Following a stellar breakout season in 2015, the West Australian was awarded the John Nicholls Medal and placed second in the 2015 NAB AFL Rising...


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Read more: Match-day guide: Round 6

Blues make four changes

Injury Update | Round 5 Head of Football Andrew McKay brings you the latest injury news after Round 5.

Carlton has made four changes for Saturday's clash with Sydney, following a disappointing 90-point loss to Port Adelaide at Adelaide Oval on Friday night.

Ruckman Matthew Kreuzer returns to the line-up after missing a week with soreness, joining Nick Graham, Alex Silvagni and Billie Smedts as the Blues' inclusions.

Jarrod Pickett, Andrew Phillips and Cameron Polson have been omitted, while first-year player Harrison Macreadie will be rested after five successive games.

The match against the Swans will mark the first in the navy blue for boyhood Bluebagger Alex Silvagni, who joined Carlton as a rookie after 53 games for Fremantle from 2010-2016.

Smedts and Graham have been rewarded after starring in the Northern Blues' 21-point over Williamstown, gathering 28 and 31 disposals...


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Read more: Blues make four changes
Tags: blues

Davey crowned AFLW B&F

Cross-code Carlton star Brianna Davey has tonight been recognised for her outstanding efforts throughout the 2017 AFLW season after being named the Club’s inaugural Best and Fairest winner.

The defender finished this evening’s count on 53 votes, ahead of key defender Danielle Hardiman (31) and imposing ruckman Alison Downie (28) at the Blues’ AFLW Best and Fairest, an evening proudly presented by Anaconda.

Across six games this season, the star defender averaged 19 disposals, nine handballs and 10 kicks. The 21-year-old is one of only a handful of female footballers that have played another sport at the highest level. Hailing from a soccer background, Davey joined the Matildas national squad as a goalkeeper, before signing with the Blues as a marquee player in 2016.

Senior coach Damien Keeping lauded the on-and-off field achievements of the versatile star.  

“Brianna has truly...


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Read more: Davey crowned AFLW B&F

Live stream: 2017 AFLW B&F

The Carlton Football Club will tonight celebrate the achievements of its Game Changers at its inaugural AFLW Best and Fairest, proudly presented by Anaconda.

Held at Luminare in South Melbourne, the awards ceremony will crown Carlton’s first-ever female best and fairest footballer, with the top three polling players to be acknowledged on stage. 

Along with the Best and Fairest Award, three players will be honoured with the Blue Bloods Award, Most Improved Player Award and Leading Goalkicker Award. 

Carlton President Mark LoGiudice and Carlton AFLW coach Damien Keeping will also address the guests at the cocktail event which will be emceed by former Australian Olympic swimmer and passionate Carlton supporter Nicole Livingstone.

With the event to be streamed live and exclusive on this page and on the Carlton app from 7:30pm AEST tonight, the Carlton faithful can witness the evening...


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Read more: Live stream: 2017 AFLW B&F

Keeping hails 'extraordinary growth'

“It’s a lockout. I’m sorry but we can’t let anymore people into the ground.”

Those immortal words, uttered by AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan, will forever be etched in the minds of the 24,568 in attendance for the first-ever AFLW match, held at Ikon Park on February 3, 2017.

It didn't matter if you watched it from the historic grandstands, one of the million people who watched the game on TV, or were one of the unfortunate people turned away at the gates of Ikon Park: that first clash between arch-rivals Carlton and Collingwood proved that AFLW was here to stay.

Damien Keeping, who holds the historic post as Carlton’s first-ever AFLW coach, remembers standing out in the middle of the ground and being awestruck by the atmosphere of that first game.

“There were people standing in stairwells and there were people trying to jump gates to get in, trying anything to get in to experience that...


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Read more: Keeping hails 'extraordinary growth'

Preview: Blues vs. Swans

The powerful figure of spearhead Lance 'Buddy' Franklin looms large in this contest as the Swans chase their first win of the season. Franklin has feasted on the Blues' defence since moving to the Harbour City, booting 21 goals in four games against them. But Franklin will be hoping for better supply from up the field on Saturday than he has received this season. The winless Swans have made their worst start to a season since 1993 and sit on the bottom for the first time since round 24, 1994. But they appear to have too much talent for Carlton. After being thrashed by Port Adelaide last week, the challenge for the youngsters in Brendon Bolton's team is to put that behind them, with their leaders including skipper Marc Murphy, Bryce Gibbs and Matthew Kreuzer needing to show the way.

WHERE AND WHEN: MCG, Saturday, April 29, 2.10pm AEST
TV AND RADIO: Click here for broadcast guide

PAST...


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Read more: Preview: Blues vs. Swans

VFL player review: Round 2

VFL Highlights | Round 2 Watch the highlights from Carlton listed players in the Northern Blues' Round 2 match against Williamstown.

Northern Blues coach Josh Fraser rates the performances of every Carlton-listed player in the 21-point win over Williamstown at Preston City Oval:

Dennis Armfield
Stats: 12 disposals (6 contested), 5 handball receives, 4 hard-ball gets
From the coach: Dennis’ leadership was first-class: he rallied the boys and applied great pressure in our front half. He also assisted with a number of scoring opportunities. It was an important game from him.

Blaine Boekhorst
Stats: 24 disposals (14 kicks), 3 inside 50s, 8 tackles, 1 goal
From the coach: Blaine provided really good run for us where he broke the lines on a number of occasions and also showed some good signs in contest to apply pressure. His game is building in the right direction.

Dylan Buckley
Stats: 22...


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Read more: VFL player review: Round 2

Top 5 stats: Round 5

Highlights | Port Adelaide v Carlton Watch the highlights from Carlton's Round 5 loss to Port Adelaide.

A young Carlton side was at the mercy of a rampant Port Adelaide on Friday night, going down by 90 points at Adelaide Oval.

Despite the heavy loss, a number of Blues impressed on the stats sheet.

Here are the top-five player stats from a Carlton perspective:

Patrick Cripps
Career-high 37 possessions

Despite playing under duress, Patrick Cripps didn't let his influence suffer. The tough midfielder willed himself all night, finishing with a career-high 37 possessions and game-high 18 contested possessions. It was a welcome return to form for Cripps, who was down on his usual output in the Blues' loss to Gold Coast the week prior.

Sam Docherty
Career-high 11 rebound 50s

The Blues may have conceded 71 inside 50s, but Sam Docherty's ability to find the footy and clear the danger was...


Read full article on AFL Carlton AFLComAu


Read more: Top 5 stats: Round 5
Tags: stats,top

Murphy, Gibbs update

Gibbs on AFL Game Day Watch Bryce Gibbs' appearance on Sunday's AFL Game Day, courtesy of Channel 7.

Star Blues duo Marc Murphy and Bryce Gibbs are expected to be fit to take on the Sydney Swans on Saturday afternoon. 

Following Carlton’s 90-point loss on Friday night, both Murphy (knee) and Gibbs (thumb) had scans on their respective injuries but on Monday were cleared of any serious damage.

Head of Football Andrew McKay said the pair would have to get through training this week.
 

“Marc and Bryce will need to get through training this week, but both players are expected to take to the field on Saturday against Sydney,” McKay said. 

“Scans have cleared Marc of any structural damage to his knee, so he will face testing during the week but we’re quite confident he will be available.

"Bryce experienced some discomfort in his thumb during Friday’s game but pleasingly, it is looking...


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Read more: Murphy, Gibbs update

Northern holds off Williamstown

The Journey | S2E2 Season 2 | Episode 2. In the first episode of Season 2 of The Journey, go behind-the-scenes of Carlton's first three rounds of the 2017 season. Presented by Virgin Australia.

The Northern Blues have opened their 2017 account with a spirited 21-point win over Williamstown.

The Blues had all the answers for the visitors at Preston City Oval, sealing a 14. 17. (101) to 11. 14. (80) win.

It was Northern’s first win over the Seagulls since Round 1, 2014, and atoned for a disappointing day at North Port Oval in the season opener a fortnight ago.

The Blues kicked with a strong breeze in the first quarter and made the most of it with 16 inside 50s to six.

Harry McKay got involved early in a big way, kicking Northern’s first three goals of the game to convert territorial dominance into scoreboard pressure.

The Blues took a 16-point lead in at quarter-time thanks to a...


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Read more: Northern holds off Williamstown

Young Blues no match for Power

Highlights | Port Adelaide v Carlton Watch the highlights from Carlton's Round 5 loss to Port Adelaide.

A young Carlton side was at the hands of a rampant Port Adelaide, going down to the Power by 90 points at Adelaide Oval on Friday night. 

In a five-goal display from Robbie Gray, who was also awarded the Peter Badcoe Medal for the best on ground, Port dismantled the Blues 20.17 (137) to 6.11 (47) in front of a crowd of 43,120. 

The youthful Blues featured seven teenagers in their 22, but it was all the Power early as they booted four unanswered goals in the first 12 minutes. 

Despite being kept scoreless in the third quarter, forward Levi Casboult kicked four of the Blues’ six goals for the evening. 

"What you're seeing is what we said we were going to do a year and a half ago, we said we were going to reset our footy club," Blues coach Brendon Bolton said.

"This opportunity, on...


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Read more: Young Blues no match for Power

Bolton: Youngsters need time

Post-match | Brendon Bolton Brendon Bolton spoke to the media after Carlton's Round 5 loss to Port Adelaide.

Carlton coach Brendon Bolton has hinted the young line-up which was brushed aside by Port Adelaide at Adelaide Oval on Friday night will be given more time to find its feet. 

The Blues were defeated by 90 points in primetime, kicking just two goals to three-quarter time and had one goalkicker (Levi Casboult) to that point.

But Bolton said the club was following through on its vow 18 months ago to "reset" and rebuild the list, and said it would take time. The Blues played seven teenagers.

"What you're seeing is what we said we were going to do a year-and-a-half ago, we said we (were) generally going to reset out footy club,” Bolton said.  

"There's some tough lessons to learn out of tonight but I've got no doubt those lessons will help us grow."

Experienced players Sam...


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Read more: Bolton: Youngsters need time

Opposition watch: Port Adelaide

Cold hard facts | Round 5 Hear the cold hard facts of our Round 5 match against Port Adelaide, presented by OnTime.

Carlton will look to bounce back tonight when it takes to South Australian turf for the first time since Round 22, 2014.

On that occasion Port Adelaide proved far too comfortable at home to defeat the visitors by 103 points.

While that distant memory can remain as that, the Blues will look to recall their last two meetings against the Power, after managing to scrape through as victors in 2015 and 2016 by four and two points respectively.

The most recent triumph over Ken Hinkley’s men was afforded to the Blues in Round 8 last year, after they stole the lead late in the fourth term with a goal from big man Matthew Kreuzer.

For Carlton, Patrick Cripps, Bryce Gibbs and Sam Docherty all reached the 30-disposal mark with Docherty recording a career-high 33 possessions,...


Read full article on AFL Carlton AFLComAu


Read more: Opposition watch: Port Adelaide

Debutant Polson among two inclusions

Team Selection | Round 5 Emily Angwin brings you all the team selection news ahead of our Round 5 clash against Port Adelaide.

Seven teenagers will take to the field under the Friday night lights of Adelaide Oval, with Cameron Polson named to make his debut against Port Adelaide. 

Polson was taken with pick No.59 from Haileybury College in Melbourne and will add to the Blues’ midfield speed and tackling pressure.  

The 19-year-old joins Samo Petrevski-Seton, Tom Williamson, Harrison Macreadie, Zac Fisher and Jarrod Pickett to have all made their AFL debuts so far this season. 

Andrew Phillips will also line up for the first time in 2017, while Matthew Kreuzer and Dale Thomas will miss with soreness following two consecutive six-day breaks. 

For the first time since 2014, the Blues will play for points at Adelaide Oval when the side faces Port Adelaide on Friday...


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Read more: Debutant Polson among two inclusions

Fisher seizing the moment

When Zac Fisher slotted that memorable Johnstonesque running goal from the flank at Etihad Stadium on Saturday night, members of his tight-knit clan were there in their droves to share the moment with him. 

Watching on from the stands was Fisher’s younger brothers Brock and Tye, his father Jeremy and mother Jessica, and his grandparents on both sides, all of whom had jetted in from Western Australia.

Seizing the moment, Fisher made his mark early - slotting his first six-pointer after having run down Gold Coast’s fleet-of-foot on-baller Aaron Hall – and at Ikon Park this week, the effervescent 18-year-old took a little time out to reflect on his maiden foray into the big time.

 

“It’s unbelievable to come from a WAFL club and step into a fully professional AFL club . . . you take it all in,” Fisher said.

“It’s obviously a huge privilege to play my first game, to play under ‘Bolts’...


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Read more: Fisher seizing the moment

Preview: Power vs. Blues

Blues News | Round 5 Emily Angwin brings you all the news from Ikon Park as the Blues prepare for Friday night's clash against Port Adelaide.

AFL Media's Lee Gaskin previews Carlton's Round 5 clash against Port Adelaide at Adelaide Oval on Friday night:

SUMMARY
After impressive wins over Sydney and Fremantle to start the season, losses to premiership contenders Adelaide and Greater Western Sydney have stalled Port Adelaide’s momentum. The Power was competitive in both of its defeats against sides that will mount strong challenges for the flag before fading in the last quarter. The return of athletic ruckman Patrick Ryder from a one-game suspension will be a valuable addition for the Power's midfielders to get first use of the ball. The rebuilding Carlton held its own with Gold Coast for the first half before being blown away in the third term. The Blues are aiming for three...


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Read more: Preview: Power vs. Blues

Murphy name moves up ranks

Blues News | Round 5 Emily Angwin brings you all the news from Ikon Park as the Blues prepare for Friday night's clash against Port Adelaide.

When Carlton captain Marc Murphy takes to the field for the Blues’ Round 5 clash with Port Adelaide on Friday night, the Murphy name will climb up the history books.

With the match to mark Murphy's 219th, the combined number of games between the Blues’ skipper and his father John Murphy will reach 465 games. 

The joint effort will place the pair alongside the Whitten family in eighth spot in the game’s history for most matches by a father and single son.

John Murphy played 246 games across his career at Fitzroy, South Melbourne and North Melbourne and with the current Blue following in his footsteps on 218 games for Carlton, the pair could continue to move up the ranks. 

AFL 2014 Portraits - John Murphy
Former Fitzroy, South Melbourne and North Melbourne player John Murphy....


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SA post-match function

The Journey | S2E2 Season 2 | Episode 2. In the first episode of Season 2 of The Journey, go behind-the-scenes of Carlton's first three rounds of the 2017 season. Presented by Virgin Australia.

Bluebaggers in Adelaide, you’re in for a treat. 

The Carlton Football Club would like to invite all Carlton members and supporters to its Round 5 post-match function on Saturday 22 April.

Following the Blues’ clash against the Power, the function will recall the playing group to Adelaide Oval where fans will have the chance to mingle with the team. 

Held on the southern concourse at Adelaide Oval, the function will start from 8:45am with entry free for Carlton members and only $10 for non-members.

With open training on Thursday, the game on Friday and the post-match function on Saturday, Adelaide Oval is set to be bombarded with the Blues – we hope to see you there! 

DETAILS:

Date: Saturday...


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Match-day guide: Round 5

The Journey | S2E2 Season 2 | Episode 2. In the first episode of Season 2 of The Journey, go behind-the-scenes of Carlton's first three rounds of the 2017 season. Presented by Virgin Australia.

It’s Carlton v Port Adelaide as we head to Adelaide Oval for the first time since 2014 for our only Friday night clash of the season.

ROUND 5

Port Adelaide v Carlton
Friday 21 April
Adelaide Oval, 7:20pm ACST

HEAD-TO-HEAD:

Played 29
Carlton 13
Port Adelaide 15
Draws 1

LAST TIME THE SIDES MET:

Round 8, 2016, MCG
Carlton 14.9 (93) d Port Adelaide 13.13 (91)
 

FORECAST FOR FRIDAY NIGHT IN ADELAIDE:

Possible shower – top of 24 degrees. 

SOUTH AUSTRALIAN SUPPORTER GROUP FUNCTION:

Before the game against the Power we’d love to see you at our South Australian Supporter Group function!

It’s being held at the Cathedral Hotel near Adelaide Oval from 5:00pm to 7:00pm with food platters provided and...


Read full article on AFL Carlton AFLComAu


Read more: Match-day guide: Round 5


Round 4
When Home Away Venue
Friday, 24 April (7:50 pm) Richmond 6.15 (51) def. by Melbourne 12.11 (83) MCG (crowd: 58,175)
Saturday, 25 April (1:10 pm) St Kilda 12.9 (81) def. by Carlton 18.13 (121) Westpac Stadium (crowd: 12,125)
Saturday, 25 April (2:40 pm) Essendon 6.13 (49) def. by Collingwood 9.15 (69) MCG (crowd: 88,395)
Saturday, 25 April (5:40 pm) Greater Western Sydney 16.23 (119) def. Gold Coast 7.11 (53) StarTrack Oval (crowd: 6,917)
Saturday, 25 April (7:10 pm) Port Adelaide 15.9 (99) def. Hawthorn 13.13 (91) Adelaide Oval (crowd: 49,831)
Saturday, 25 April (6:45 pm) Fremantle 11.8 (74) def. Sydney 8.12 (60) Domain Stadium (crowd: 39,009)
Sunday, 26 April (1:10 pm) Brisbane Lions 9.11 (65) def. by West Coast 17.16 (118) Gabba (crowd: 16,632)
Sunday, 26 April (3:20 pm) Geelong 9.13 (67) def. by North Melbourne 12.11 (83) Simonds Stadium (crowd: 23,452)
Sunday, 26 April (4:40 pm) Western Bulldogs 18.17 (125) def. Adelaide 10.8 (68) Etihad Stadium (crowd: 19,915)

Round 5
When Home Away Venue
Friday, 1 May (7:50 pm) Carlton 6.9 (45) def. by Collingwood 18.12 (120) MCG (crowd: 71,759)
Saturday, 2 May (1:45 pm) Richmond 11.10 (76) def. by Geelong 12.13 (85) MCG (crowd: 45,228)
Saturday, 2 May (2:10 pm) Sydney 10.13 (73) def. by Western Bulldogs 11.11 (77) SCG (crowd: 25,541)
Saturday, 2 May (4:35 pm) Gold Coast 18.10 (118) def. Brisbane Lions 7.12 (54) Metricon Stadium (crowd: 12,464)
Saturday, 2 May (7:20 pm) North Melbourne 10.10 (70) def. by Hawthorn 19.16 (130) Etihad Stadium (crowd: 38,077)
Saturday, 2 May (5:40 pm) West Coast 18.12 (120) def. Greater Western Sydney 4.9 (33) Domain Stadium (crowd: 34,554)
Sunday, 3 May (1:10 pm) Melbourne 6.14 (50) def. by Fremantle 18.10 (118) MCG (crowd: 22,892)
Sunday, 3 May (3:20 pm) St Kilda 11.14 (80) def. by Essendon 11.16 (82) Etihad Stadium (crowd: 29,869)
Sunday, 3 May (4:10 pm) Adelaide 13.13 (91) def. by Port Adelaide 18.7 (115) Adelaide Oval (crowd: 49,617)

Round 6
When Home Away Venue
Friday, 8 May (7:50 pm) Collingwood 8.11 (59) def. by Geelong 15.10 (100) MCG (crowd: 52,152)
Saturday, 9 May (1:45 pm) North Melbourne 16.13 (109) def. Richmond 10.14 (74) Blundstone Arena (crowd: 17,544)
Saturday, 9 May (2:10 pm) Western Bulldogs 13.9 (87) def. by St Kilda 14.10 (94) Etihad Stadium (crowd: 29,619)
Saturday, 9 May (4:35 pm) Greater Western Sydney 16.12 (108) def. Hawthorn 14.14 (98) Spotless Stadium (crowd: 13,556)
Saturday, 9 May (5:10 pm) Gold Coast 11.12 (78) def. by Adelaide 18.11 (119) Metricon Stadium (crowd: 12,464)
Saturday, 9 May (7:20 pm) Melbourne 7.8 (50) def. by Sydney 12.16 (88) MCG (crowd: 26,894)
Saturday, 9 May (6:10 pm) Fremantle 12.8 (80) def. Essendon 7.10 (52) Domain Stadium (crowd: 37,535)
Sunday, 10 May (3:20 pm) Carlton 11.9 (75) def. by Brisbane Lions 12.12 (84) Etihad Stadium (crowd: 20,273)
Sunday, 10 May (4:10 pm) Port Adelaide 10.8 (68) def. by West Coast 11.12 (78) Adelaide Oval (crowd: 37,635)
  • The attendance of 17,544 at Blundstone Arena set a new record for the largest sports crowd at the ground.[18]
  • St Kilda defeated Western Bulldogs after trailing 55 points early in the third quarter. It was the equal-fifth largest successful comeback in VFL/AFL history[19] and equalled the club's greatest ever comeback.[20]

Weather Melbourne

Possible shower
Currently steady 15.2° Saturday
14° - 18°
Wind: NW at 9 km/h, gusting to 11 km/h rising
Relative humidity: 84%
Sunday Mostly sunny 11° - 18°

 

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AFL Ladder

Team P W
Sydney 22 17
Geelong 22 17
Hawthorn 22 17
Greater Western Sydney 22 16
Adelaide 22 16
West Coast 22 16
Western Bulldogs (P) 22 15
North Melbourne 22 12
St Kilda 22 12
Port Adelaide 22 10
Melbourne 22 10
Collingwood 22 9
Richmond 22 8
Carlton 22 7
Gold Coast 22 6
Fremantle 22 4
Brisbane Lions 22 3
Essendon 22 3
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Professor Frink

Oh my great good God! Gentlemen, your attention please. I am detecting a gigiantic amphibious life-form, it's 80 meters long and it's heading this way. Oh good glayven it's on my shoe. It's a small frog, just get off, just get off there, just get out of it, get out of it. Stupid machine, oh wait a minute, this isn't the Monsterometer, it's the Frog-Exaggerator Mm-hai.

Groucho Marx

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

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